Saturday, February 12, 2005

Indentured

I can't help it right now.
I want to call.
I want to write.
I want contact of any kind.
But I know I can't and I shouldn't.
So I don't.

And still in secrecy,
I hope you'll write.
I hope you'll call.
Or make contact of any kind.
But I know you won't.
Though I wish you would.

I know it is wrong.
I am not trying to hold on.
But my grip was tight.
The rope was cut.
I fell hard.
I try to fight the pain.

It's not your fault.
It was me all along.
I pressed for results.
I was the one,
I brought this on.
I should have been stronger.

I feel responsible for everything.
I made it harder instead.
I complicated things.
I was so hopeful, so eager.
I was anxious, far too anxious.
Too much, too fast for you.

I could have been better.
But I made you push away.
That it was better it end.
Then work it through.
I didn't want to go.
But willingly, anything for you.

Reminders of you.
Everywhere I turn.
Everywhere I look.
I hide you from me.
Because it hurts to see,
My faded hope and dream.

I saw you online,
I became scared and nervous.
My face went numb.
I was sad again.
I struggled mightily.
I held it in.

But tonight I'll cry again,
As I beg God to bless you.
To watch over and protect you,
Fill you with joy.
Ease your burdens.
And that success will find you.

No spell was needed.
No potion or trick.
No smoke or mirrors.
Never a hint of deception used.
You are magic.
It's why I fell in love with you.

2 comments:

Kara said...

I love this one...

Krista said...

Surprisingly I didn't cry. This is nice.